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« The evening's the worst. | Main | Missing you, my Boy »
Tuesday
Mar292011

Two steps forward, One step back

It's exactly two weeks today. I went to Singapore, had a gala time with my sister and her children. I watched the awesome Lion King musical. I had a scrumptious high tea.

But somehow, it did not help. I had not cried since Thursday but yesterday, the floodgates broke again. I went to Ju's house to return the stroller and carseat. Ju's mum told me to take the papers, like she always do, for Wookie. She didn't know. Then Megan, Ju's oldest girl came home from school and hugged me hard and kept telling me she is so sorry for my loss.

When I got to the studio, there were more enquiries. How can I not succumb?

I feel as if I am taking two steps forward and one step back. But I have to trudge on, Baby. I need to remember you without hurting. I need to talk about you without dissolving into tears. I want to miss you with fondness but not pain.

You are so tiny but you occupy so much space in the world. I have shared you with so many people and they, too, miss you so much. Even your friends, the cats miss you so much. They don't come around anymore.

Two steps forward, One step back. Two steps forward, One step back. Two steps forward, One step back..........................................

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