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Stop rowing and get out of the boat.

Lately, I have been evaluating self-worth. But can one do that? How does one measure one's worth? Do you measure it from other people's point of view? Popularity? How many friends you have? What have you achieved? How much wealth you have accumulated? I have always believed in investing on relationships. I will always try to do my best for others. I am not a martyr but when I do get an opportunity to do so, it feels good. For a long, long time now, I have learnt NOT to expect anything in return. Pay It Forward was a movie recommended to me. I totally embraced that concept- to lend a hand to another, not expecting anything in return. The person whom one has helped just help somebody else, thus paying it forward. Lately, I have discovered my circle of people whom I matter to is really very small. It was Teacher's Day more than a week ago. The only ones who wished me were some of my friends and former students. But of course I appreciated being appreciated. They remembered me. But have I touched the lives of my present students? If so, why have they forgotten me? Petty? Hurt? Yeah, perhaps a little. But could it be that they have forgotten me simply because I have not touched their lives? Then what's wrong with me? I am supposed to be an educator and what kind of an educator am I if I don't touch lives???? Then this lead me to think about other people whom I may have touched. And I began to realize there are a few people whom I consider important and whom I thought I am important to, don't really think that I am. There's one who never calls me, unless it's to ask a question etc. Never a 'hi, how are you' call. It had always been me having to call and stretch out a hand. Perhaps I don't matter. Then, there's another person who only calls when help is needed. But I think all of us have a few of those in our phonebook. When the name appears, 'Mmmm, what does he/she want?'. There's yet another group of people whom we sort of drift apart from. I have always likened friendships to be roads or rivers. Sometimes roads meet and they run parallel for a while. Sometimes they come to a crossroad and sometimes the road leads elsewhere. Friendships needs to be worked on. And it requires the effort of both parties. I will admit I have allowed quite a few friendships drift apart. Sometimes due to differences in thought but most of the time due to tiredness. Friendship is like two people sitting side-by-side rowing. If one rows and the other is not doing anything, the boat will not get anywhere. It will just go round and round in circles. So, perhaps I should just stop rowing and get out of that boat.

Reader Comments (2)

Great post! Acceptance of others is really important but somehow showing your true self is better than pleasing everybody. You don't need to mingle with those people who can't accept who you are.
November 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterplaymobil airport
Great post!
June 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChristy

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