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Remembrance by association

Earlier this year, I compiled a whole huge amount of songs/tracks into my Iphone for listening pleasure. Amongst them was a good many Joe Hisaishi's tracks mostly from his works for Miyazaki. But now, I cannot bring myself to listen to them at all.

It's not because they are no good. They are superb. And I still like them. But in less than a minute into listening to them, I had to switch. Images of Wookie and the period of time when he was sick and when he passed away just automatically pops into my head.

I suppose that's because I was listening to them so much at that time. I am still missing him so much. I know I will never forget him but I do not want to remember and miss him like this. Nikki have been fantastic therapy. People tells me not to compare. There's really not much to compare about simply because they are so similar.

I suppose this is because they are of the same breed and they have the same upbringing. Yesterday, Nikki jumped on the sofa and romped around on it till I got her off. The look on the face was exactly like a young child having a go, jumping on her parents' bed. Nikki romped and jumped and rolled, complete with lots of happy heavy breathings.Wookie used to do that too.

I think there's a term for this, association by senses, but I don't know what it is. Whenever I hear Barry Manilow, I remember London. Sheena Easton does that to me too. Smells, the certain perfume conjours people's faces and places. Visuals too. Sometimes, it just plays in the subconsious. Then for the rest of the day, I began to wonder why this certain person/place/incident popped into my head out of nowhere. But further investigations into the deep dark recess of the mind will bring more clues to light.

Back to my early 2010 music compilations. What do I do with them? I cannot bear to listen to them anymore. Will I, one day, be able to do so? Should I just delete them entirely? They ARE really good ones. But I don't want to hurt anymore.

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