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« A Ballet Teacher's Rant! | Main | Mummy time »
Sunday
Jan012012

Elvis the Rat!

I am plagued again. Literally, as in like the plague.

A rat is once more terrorising my life. A few days ago, I left the downstairs bathroom window opened overnight. That must have been how it got in. The next day, I discovered it ate my mango which I left on the kitchen counter. Evidence of shit right next to the mango AND on my fan remote.

I think I make a good RCSI (Rodent Crime Scene Investigator) I deduced its point of entry, where it rested, where it hid that night. I was hoping it also left the same way. But I was mistaken. It stayed around.

It hid in the potato/onion container which I accidently left open. I closed it and last night, it tried to get out. There were squealings which sounded like a pig and I thought it was odd, since I am pretty sure none of my neighbours have pigs for pets. Then, I heard a commotion in the kitchen. It must have summoned a tremendous burst of energy and bolted out of the container, dashed across my stove and countertop and promptly slid into the sink.

After that, the account is rather unclear. I was screaming too much and trying to wake a rather sleepy husband from his slumber in front of the TV. I also had my reading glasses on and therefore could not see clearly where it went. Nikki was of no help. She just dashed about, excited with the excitement. (Please note that this is nearly 3AM)

Andrew, then helped me lay a trap. 10,000 orcs would not have been abled to get me into the kitchen last night. I very quickly bundled up my little girl and went upstairs to my bedroom sanctuary.

This morning the trap remained..........................empty. It is still somewhere about in the house. We need to 'smoke it out'. It's a smart 'Elvis' But then, in any case, every single Elvis I have encountered were all very smart.

Perhaps, they have rat schools, whereby each and every rat learns about things to avoid and people to irritate. Perhaps they have a huge poster with my face on it on their blackboards, telling all rat students, "This IS the person to annoy"

I hate rats. How can I make them hate me? How can I get them to go eat somebody else's mangoes. Why can't they go and shit on somebody else's potato container and prances over somebody else's stove? Why me? Why mine???

 

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