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Someday, this too, shall pass

Just the other day, I made a remark, "I am so nervous about the upcoming course. So stressed! I think I am going to be awful!" ( Or something to that effect) Then Andrew said, " It'll be ok lah. You always say that. You said that before you went to Taipei. Then, it was ok"

Did I? Did I? Do I always say that?

I reflected for a bit. Well, it was kind of true. Everytime, just before a new project begins, I go through a constipated period of time. I worry, I try to cover every possible avenues and scenarios. If it's a course or something like that, I begin to talk to myself, asking myself possible questions people may ask and answering them. I replay dance exercises and routines over and over again in my mind till they often gets mashed up. I listen to the tracks ALL THE TIME. Last night, I fell asleep with my earphones plugged and lights still on. My family had to endure long-sufferings during these periods. They had to listen to whatever I am working on, day in day out. Fortunately, these days, earphones are usually part of my assessories.

I likened it to pregnancy. The period of waiting. This is especially true in the last days. All one wants to do is, "GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT!"

I actually know that I shall be alright. I probably might panic a little, walking into the dance studio the first day, speaking for the first time to the first batch of course attendees. But deep, deep ( somewhere in my belly, I think) down, I know after the first day, or even after the first few exercises, I shall be alright.

Opening night jitters? Worrying about acceptance? Will I deliver? Will my body rebel or will it work? Questions that run through my head over and over again. Yes, someday, when I look back, I am going to wonder, "What? Why did I worry?"

But till then............................... I am going to look at my book again.

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