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So what's been happening in 2012?

Every August, I make it a point to post up an anniversary posting. Mostly, it will be about how long I have blogged etc but this time, I shall blog about what I have been doing and how it had affected my blogging habits.

2012 have been a crazy year. It is a year whereby I have bitten off more than I could chew. It has been a year I have stretched myself to the maximum. It has been a year where I have discovered a little about myself; my potential, my limitations and have also discovered what I well and truly love ( not that I didn't know earlier but it's just been sort of confirmed) I have discovered that I live and breathe dance and that I do not think I shall ever be able to survive without it.

The busy 2012 did not began in 2012. It started in 2011 and it just spiralled out of control this year. Last year, I was asked if I would like to tutor the New Syllabus. Why not? Dangle and challenge in front of me and I am off like a hunting dog. Then, they asked me if I would like to tutor the New CBTS Module. Why not? (for the same reasons as above) Then, of course, there were the usual ones that I do on top of these new carrots ...........

Of course I knew there will be a lot of work involved. What I did not anticipate was an uncooperative body and brain. What would take me in two shakes of a duck's tail took forever to memorize. My wreaked body kept telling me it will not be able to attempt those things. This year was also the year whereby my journey of self-discovery happened with Dr. Michael. He managed to restore some of the basic functions which I thought I have lost forever. He has given me hope and a chance to experience my love again physically.

Also, being the 'anal' person that I am, I must always have Plan A, Plan B, Plan C and sometimes even Plan D. I will always try to prepare my work for any eventual questions or queries. I always know that I can't think of every conceivable question but that does not stop me from trying. 

Last year, Bee Hong and I decided that some classes require a little extra boost and we had extra classes for half of December, which was officially my recharge month. Then, during Christmas and New Year's break, I was busy planning for the Taipeh tutoring course in mid January. When I got back, It was the busy 'getting ready for exams'period. Right after that, I had to prepare for the KL course.

The KL course was my mountain to conquer. It's on home ground but it will also be the toughest. These are my peers, my contemporaries. Some of these teachers have been teaching since longer than I have. I had sleepless nights, thinking, planning and worrying about it.

But in the end, I think all the hard work was worth it. It was a personal challenge. I wanted to know if I could do it and I did!

Right after that, I should have taken a break but there was no such time for such luxury. The Vocational students had to be submitted for their exams and they had to be trained hard to be ready for it. So, back into the 'lion's den' I went!

Even before the June tutoring finished, the new one for CBTS began. It was precarious juggling during those few days. Emails flew back and forth with these new trainees. This new module will be having their Intensive Study Period with me for 10 days, to begin next Tuesday. For the past several weeks, I had bee trying to get myself ready for it, but the brain has sent these signals - ENOUGH! I've had enough! There were several days when I stared at the notes, read them but I truly did not understand what it was talking about! Panic set in!

Here's where I move on to a slightly different topic - Friends. I have many fantastic friends. Their care and concern throughout this year and especially recently had been overwhelming. Text messages, phonecalls, FaceBook messages, advices, encouragements, lunches, dinners, teas, coffees and even weekend trips away came my way. I also know there had been many prayers for me too. Otherwise, I would not have survived so long. There had been instances whereby, I just sit and stare at the laptop screen, not understanding what I was reading at all. And, of course, tears follow.

Yesterday, I was given a severe lecture (from a great friend) of how NOT to do everything, of my not being Superwoman, of the world is more than just challenges. All those, I understood. But now, I just have to wait it out. I have to swim or I'll sink! Swimming, I am!

Never mind if sleep does not overcome me, or leaves me at 4AM and turn me into a wide-eyed exhausted zombie. Never mind if I toss and turn and it will still NOT come to me. Never mind if my entire system is running on coffee. Never mind if I don't seem to be hungry nor does food taste good to me anymore. 

I shall overcome. I shall slog through these deep, dark underground caverns and I shall come out on the other side. I shall triumph and deliver one of my most @#$% best tutoring session. 

But most importantly, I shall never, ever take on so much again. And of yes, Happy Birthday, Katryna Ballerina. I wish I have more time for you.

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