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Thursday
Jul122007

CSI

Last week we had roasted duck for dinner. Later while standing under the shower, I was flossing bits of duck from in between my teeth. Duck meat is a little ‘gamey’ and a little more fibrous.

So there I was flossing away, leaving my brain free to idly wander. Lately, it’s CSI season in the Cheong’s house. Andrew and I are re-running those previous episodes. So while I was flossing, I remembered how the ME (Medical Examiner) flossed the teeth of a DB (Dead Body) to get DNA of someone she (the DB, not the ME) bit. Anyway, thoughts ran through my mind. If I were to slip and hit my head on the toilet bowl and the ME flossed me, she would have found out that a duck had something to do with my death!

My point: if the ME flossed the DB, how come she found only the flesh of the murderer? How come she did not find, erm, the ham from the ham sandwich the deceased had for lunch? Or bits of vegetables in between the molars? I always find bits of vegetables lodged so securely in my mouth. Or perhaps vegetables don’t kill. So how about the movie, ‘Killer Tomatoes’?

When the CSIs (Crime Scene Investigators) process a car, especially the steering wheel for fingerprints, they ALWAYS come up with only 1 set, the killer’s. And when they process the car any further, they will only find substances that are relevant to the case. All I can say is, if they process MY CAR, they will be stunned! There are traces of every kind of thing from up to 3 months ago.

Or, if someone killed me in public, and they have to go through my handbag, they would have difficulty re-constructing what I did for the last 24 hours. I have Giant Supermarket receipts from 6 months ago!

Also, how come CSIs, whose jobs are actually to process and investigate crime scenes, actively engage in interrogations and car chases? They should be staring down a microscope or squeezing chemicals in little vials.

My sister Michelle brought this up a while ago. She thinks that all CSIs should wear some form of headgear to prevent contaminations. If I were a CSI, I will probably be a suspect in all the cases. I shed so much.

Then, there’s CODIS and AFIS thingy. They are supposed to be a comprehensive data for fingerprints and DNA. The scene will be like this; one of the CSI will be staring at the computer screen, usually with a bored look on his/her face. Then a colleague will walk in, ask if there’s any development, and PING! The CODIS or AFIS will hit.

Don’t get me wrong. I love the series. Even though I know who the killer is, I enjoy watching those episodes over and over again. It just never fails to amaze me how show business can sensationalize and dramatize mundane stuff. I am sure real CSIs probably lead very boring lives, moving around in the labs staring at tons or test-tubes or pictures. Or being swamped in mountain high of paperwork. I’ll bet, if there’s a TV series about ballet teachers, they will be portrayed leading very exciting lives, having classes full of future Baryshnikovs and Makarovas.

Excuse me, I have to get back to my CSI episodes.

Reader Comments (4)

Hhaha... I love this posting!

A lot of it are 'Jou hei kam jou maa' literately it only happens in the show/movie/program.

xx
July 12, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne
tsk tsk tsk. u think too much lah. but obviously you're enjoying it (since you can watch over and over again).
July 16, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterpL
my! u r turning into a CSI zombie ! do you know that the latest season featured a couple of episodes that were quite comical. i think it was intentional. season 7 is coming to an end next wednesday. i think its a 2 hr episode. the teaser indicated that one of the csi might be written off this time. for csi new york they have already written off one of the characters (mid way in the season!)
just remember that they have only 45 minutes to show you everything (relevant!)
so ? which character in the CSI team do you associate yourself with most ?
July 18, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterjonathan
I LOVE CSI as well!!!!!
July 20, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

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